Well I'll just write what I feel like one sentence by one sentence then it would eventually fill up right? maybe... Over these years after graduations, I learned that nothing would last forever, I used to blame myself for not doing my best and trying my best in everything, like relationship with my ex gf, my family, my friends, my colleagues, my ex manager etc.. There's a saying like who knows what might happen in the next seconds no one could predict it, I still get hurt for losing someone who used to my world, my motivation, my everything, but as time passed I tried my best just to let it go but still.. It's not an easy thing after all.. But well life still has to keep moving on and seriously I don't want to blame her at all, because I do know that there's nothing right or wrong in love.. It may sound lame, mushy or whatever word that fit but it just how I think how it was supposed to be.. I just want to truly give my 100% blessing for her and her family, hoping everything works well for her. I don't feel like getting into any relationship yet because of my boredom or my loneliness, I just want someone who would never let me go off me no matter how bad the situation is, and someone who would keep encouraging me to make each become a better self than yesterday..
#nojudge #mayseemslikeIcopiedfromsomequotes #andyeahIdid #hahahaha
Then regarding family, family may get quite annoying because their care might be turned into some nagging in your ears, but in the end what they said do makes sense, and at some point I just don't feel like arguing so much, just listen and agreeing in silence.. I find myself quite disrespectful to my parents, maybe my rebel stage hasn't passed yet LOL.. Well I am just like any normal person who could get angry at some point if someone hit that point of my anger.. Then I would felt so bad and wanted so much to change myself to a better person, do some little things just to make them happy and feel proud. Seeing them smile is the best thing even though what I did over these years just some little things, but that feel I bet you know if you really love your parents, So I really wanted to prove to my parents that I could do better than this, but reality always beat me to a pulp.. Up until this point of my life, I just felt that it still wasn't enough, there's nothing really worth mentioning about the little things that I did to make my parents. But no matter what, I'll still try my best and pray for their healthy so I could be more filial and make their burden lesser so they could enjoy their life.
Friends and colleagues, I would classify these as same one, well there many types, one who appear only in fun times, one who could really help you in pinch time, one who really hard to ask to go out, etc.. But I do not really want to say so much, because I do know that I'm not really a good and ideal friends maybe I am that one kind (awkward type and silent type especially with friends of friend, but that actually normal for introvert type like me though, hahahaa), but I do have some friends who I could start blabbering about work things, how's life going on, just catching up, chilling, talking about random things.. Well I don't really like to talk big or get so friendly with people I just met.. I don't know why but I am not used, but if they ask me something I still would be gladly to answer and react, but I don't really want to ask things about them, maybe I wasn't interest or simply due to I am not good in socializing...
Yeah I do mention about my ex manager, I received shocking news that last year 2016 just a few days or weeks (I don't really remember what date exactly) before Chinese new year, I just got a shocking news that my ex manager passed away due to some illness.. It's really hard to believe, because I just saw a lot of photos of him travelling with his friends few days before that news... I was really kinda shocked and sad but I don't really cry maybe I still unable to believe the fact.. Life is really unpredictable, to think that I used to be taught, listening to his stories of those old days of him, before he resigned from the workplace I'm still currently working at.. I'm really so grateful for how he helped me in promotion and salaries issue.. But I do had that bad habits of resenting about him not really appreciating me, because there's a new employee under me or used to be indirectly under him could get in certain position in such a short period (it's not that what that employee did something really special job).. But I just accepted it in the end, because there's really nothing you could do about it.. Even though in the end she left the job and got a better work in other place, but I don't have any grudges with her, but well in fact I quite get along because of how I could depend of her despite she had some illness... Then she got married and had a baby, well I felt happy for her, because I did told her the fact of working in my current place really not providing a really satisfactory salary... And she herself do know and decided to left the workplace maybe because her boyfriends working at that place too, so it would be easier for her boyfriends take care or her times to times..
What else ? Currently I just wanna focused on working and searching for what really suits me, I want to build a better life and really want to be financially free. I seriously had that thought but I just don't know what direction to take and pour all my devotion my everything into it so I could really start enjoying life and start giving things or spend time with family or friends. I do felt like so stuck with my life, regular daily working life, regular things and nothing really changing.. Except I get older as time passes...hahahaha.. Although I now do some online shop business selling things as extra income and joined a great company (the systems are great and really do motivate me in their spectacular event) but deep in my heart still hasn't convinced, even though I know that maybe if I tried a bit harder I may get into the stages that could grant me the financially free that I always wanted..But the reality is sometimes not everyone could do it, it takes a lot of luck and mental to get there.. And the things that I need to learn a lot to join some events that need travelling made me wonder, is it really worth it? Maybe if I really wanted to focus on it, then seeing how bad economy is, made me wonder can I sell these products, then can I find some people who could have the same passion to do it in the end while myself still not convincing myself that I could do it.. So in the end I still feel hesitating and wanted to try other things other than this systems / business.. I don't know how my future will turns out yet, so I just want to try things that really could bring out my passion so I could really enjoy it to the fullest..Not just following and doing some things that some people done even though maybe I would end up doing that same things, but I still had that exploring passion and wanting to know to search for new things.. And hopefully that passion could still keep going on no matter how long time passes..
And I do felt grateful for everyone who shows up in my life either as friends (know personally or just know from social media) either as acquaintance, strangers.. No matter what they did, good things or bad things, those things made who I am today, a little bit stronger a little bit kinder a little bit self loving etc..
Here's a throwback photo of me doing super simple Luffy cosplay. Do I look like Monkey D. Luffy?
ahahaha
~Ore wa kaizoku ou ni naru otoko da~
PS: I love watching a lot of types of animes (no need to mention I guess), from there I could learn a lot of things that I didn't get to learn at school~ Like how stupid anime gags could be, but you just laugh a long with it, just kidding, of course there're a lot of quotes and a lot of perspective to look at things so differently, to act to think so uniquely, so many things like life lessons from those creators...
So you don't simply judge animes fans without knowing what animes are all about, okay? ✌
Wishing you all had a great day from this moment on, let's live our life to the fullest, live with no regrets, do what you want, but don't be too selfish minded, be kind and respect each people ! ✌
Last but not least I do hope the world could become a better world, no more wars, no more destruction, no more hate, no more terrorist, no more racist, no more meaningless fights or arguments, let's create a better world, not just that ordinary world where you just judge people, you just start talking shit without knowing their story first... let's create a peaceful world !! 💗✌
Thanks for reading if there are some people reading this (even though I am not sure anyone would be reading this long blabbering of mine, hahaha) :D
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